In Defense Of Cleveland & Katie C.

Yet another rain soaked day in the Ozarks, I could laugh it off for a while but it’s getting old.

Check out what Ichiro Suzuki said about Cleveland.

To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to. If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying.

“I’d punch myself in the face?!” Good one Ichiro. You will face the wrath of Cleveland; They’re not going to let that slide. I’ll say this about Ichiro, he is one of the best ballplayers I’ve ever seen. He is one of the handful of guys that I would gladly plunk down money to see. He plays the game the right way. If he played in New York or L.A. you would hear about him every other day. Why is he busting on Cleveland.

A lot of people put Cleveland down and I don’t get it. Before I ever went there I had this pre-conceived notion that it was backwards, filthy town. Everybody I met was friendly, cool architecture (on a smaller scale, sort of the same eclectic type of mixture you find in Chicago), good food, no problems at the airport, seemed like a nice place. As a matter of fact the whole state of Ohio seems to get a bum deal. I played in Toledo years ago and had the same type of perception beforehand because of all the Toledo jokes I’d heard through the years. I don’t know that I have ever met a nicer bunch of people. Ohio can’t get any respect. Rise up Ohio.

But do people living in Toledo
Know that their name hasn’t travelled very well?
And does anybody in Ohio
Dream of that Spanish citadel?

from “Toledo” by Burt Bacharach and Elvis Costello

I guess Ichiro has an excuse because English is a distant second language for him. Also, he was picking on a place and not a person. Dan Rather, on the other hand, is out of control. He should be in a wax museum someplace. Look at this from the Morning Joe show on MSNBC.

He accuses Katie Couric of “tarting it up”, not once but twice. “Tarting it up??!!” What the hell is going on with this knucklehead. Katie’s ratings are low and you can criticize the content but you can’t mention Katie and “tart” together in any context. Rather has been doing T.V. for, I don’t know, something like 200 years. So, it isn’t like interviewing a plumber who inadvertantly says something crazy. Danno new exactly what he was doing. It was pre-meditated and he said it again to make sure we didn’t miss it. It’s no secret that the news is being dumbed down but Dan Rather accusing others on, of all places, MSNBC is the height of irony. Here are some Dan Rather election night quotes.

“This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex.”

“His lead is as thin as turnip soup.”

“This race is humming along like Ray Charles.”

“One’s reminded of that old saying, ‘Don’t taunt the alligator until after you’ve crossed the creek.’”

“This situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.”

“Bush is sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field.”

â€œNo question now that Kerry’s rapidly reaching the point where he’s got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire and the bill collector’s at the door.”

(To Joe Lockhart) “I know that you’d rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than consider the possibility that John Kerry would lose Ohio.”

â€œWe used to say if a frog had side pockets, he’d carry a handgun.”

“No one is saying that George Bush is not going to win the election, and if you had to bet the double-wide, you’d have to bet that he’d win.”

The election is “closer than Lassie and Timmy”

“Keep in mind they are teetotally meetmortally convinced they have Ohio won.”

On how the results are affecting strategists: “It’s one reason so many of them drink a lot.”

“He swept through the South like a tornado through a trailer park.”

Well said Dan, I guess they have dumbed it down since they ran you off the network air.

I’d studied your cartoons, radio, music, TV, movies, magazines
Richard said, “Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy”
A smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh

“What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” is your Benzedrine, uh-huh
Butterfly decal, rear-view mirror, dogging the scene
You smile like the cartoon, tooth for a tooth
You said that irony was the shackles of youth
You wore a shirt of violent green, uh-huh
I never understood the frequency, uh-huh

from “What’s The Frequency Kenneth” by REM