It turned out to be a rainy afternoon in the Ozarks. Nice and cool now, the rain started coming down in buckets around 4:00 and the temperature has dropped considerable. I love Autumn weather.
I had to go to Wal Mart today. It seems like something screwy happens every time I go. I had to get a variety of stuff, hydraulic jack, coffee pot, coffee, garden hose, apple cider vinegar. Knowing that I was going to have to travel each quadrant of the Super-Humongous-Hyper-Mega store, I decided to hit the bathroom right as I went in. I figured, I might shopping for a while because they always move the vinegar to a different location, every time. Some kind of vinegar conspiracy going on.
So, in the bathroom there are two urinals and one stall. When I sidled up to the low, for little shavers, urinal. each spot was taken. Seems like they would have more facilities for such a ginormous store but, I digress. The guy that was in the stall was making some serious noise. I’m not going to go into detail but, he was working it out.
Anyway, I finish my business and I’m washing my hands and the guy from the stall flushes. I’m turning toward the paper towels and the guy walks in front of me, with his head down. I recognized him right away. I was just getting ready to say hello but, he walks right out of there and doesn’t even glance at the faucets. Not only does this not wash his hands, he doesn’t even consider the option. Not that this makes any difference but, this guy is a prominent man in the community. I have shaken hands with him probably a hundred times in the past. He is a firm handshake, slap you on the shoulder, how ya’ doin’ type of guy. Bbbbllllllhhhgghh. I’m kind of a freak about washing my hands. I wash my hands a lot, definately every time I use the bathroom and many more times every day. It kind of wigs me out when other people don’t. I don’t mind shaking someone’s hand, I’m not one of those that has a phobia about that. Gives me the willies, when you find out that hand shakers don’t wash.
If that weren’t enough, I had to get a coffee pot, or I should say carafe, the Pyrex kind that comes with the coffee maker. So, I find the carafe and it’s $14.00. A new coffee maker, same as the one I already have, is a little under 10 bucks. That’s another way I’m weird, I guess; I don’t like to throw stuff, that works fine, away. But, for $5.00 cheaper, you got to go with the new coffee maker; don’t you? Maybe I need to get some coffee maker offsets to ease the guilt.
I hear that Barry Bonds’ record breaking home run ball, number 756, will be displayed at the Hall of Fame and there will be an asterisk on it.
Good going Hall of Fame, making the decision to accept the ball and display it. Good to see your not concerned just about baseball anymore HOF. Good to see that future generations will get some witty references to illegal drug use when they visit the bastion of baseball tradition.
What’s that daddy?
That’s Ty Cobb’s glove, son. He had a lifetime .366 average and 892 stolen bases. He was fast as lightning. They called him the “Georgia Peach”.
What’s that over there, daddy?
That’s Babe Ruth’s bat, Billy. He changed the game. He was the first real home run hitter. To this day, they still call Yankee Stadium, “The House That Ruth Built”, in his honor.
Who is this picture of daddy?
Boy, that is Joe DiMaggio. Some say the greatest Yankee of them all. He once hit safely in 56 consecutive games. It’s a record that they say will never be broken.
Whose shirt is this daddy?
That is the jersey that Jackie Robinson wore when he came up with the Brooklyn Dodgers. He was an electric ball player. He broke the color barrier and changed the world.
Whose shoes are these daddy?
Why son, those “spikes” were worn by Ted Williams. Some say that he was the greatest pure hitter the game has ever seen. No telling what his numbers would be if he didn’t spend four of his prime years as a fighter pilot, during war time, serving his country.
Why does this ball have this funny mark on it daddy?
Heh, heh. Well son that was the ball that Barry Bonds hit to break the all time home run record; the biggest record of them all. That ball was home run number 756, the one that surpassed the great Hank Aaron. That “funny mark”, as you call it son, is an asterisk.
Why is there an asterisk daddy?
The asterisk to symbolize that Bonds may have used steroids to aid in breaking the record.
Was there any concrete proof that Barry Bonds used HGH, testosterone, the clear, the cream or any other illegal, performance enhancing drugs, daddy?
No, son, even though steroids were illegal, baseball wasn’t testing for them in those days. But, he hit 258 home runs between the ages of 35 and 39, his head expanded to the size of a basketball, his adulterous girlfriend wrote a book claiming he juiced, so did Jose Canseco and he testified in front of a grand jury that if he used steroids, it was unintentional.
I love baseball, daddy.
Me too, son, me too.
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Tags: Barry Bonds, people who don't wash their hands, Wal-Mart
Watermang wrote,
I used to work with a woman who didn’t wash her hands after using the restroom, and we all knew it. Our supervisor even mentioned it to her, but she didn’t change her habits. Every Christmas she would give everyone in our department some of her home-baked goodies. Needless to say, her gifts went directly to the trash can. Bbbbllllllhhhgghh.
Link | September 27th, 2007 at 7:22 am
Pribek wrote,
It’s the audacity that gets to me, Watermang.
Deciding not to wash your hands is a personal decision; I guess.
So, if you want to stay filthy and snub your nose at society; fine. Just don’t go around being the eager to shake my hand guy and definately don’t come up and say, “I made brownies!!”.
Link | September 27th, 2007 at 10:42 am