A month or so ago, I wrote a post called “Fake Your Own Death L.L.C.”. In it, I speculated that there has to be a privately owned company somewhere that assists folks who would like to disappear. Since then, I have got a substantial amount of hits from people who typed things like “fake your own death” or even, “how do I fake my own death?” into a search engine. Seems to be some interest in doing this.
Then, I saw this news item in The Guardian.
Was he a victim of amnesia or a con artist who tried to fake his death to collect life insurance?
Whatever the answer, Britain is captivated by the tale of how John Darwin vanished after paddling into the North Sea in a canoe, was declared dead when its wreckage washed ashore, then turned up five years later at a police station claiming to have lost his memory.
Investigators suspect fraud: They arrested the 57-year-old former prison officer Wednesday on suspicion he faked his death so his wife could cash in on his insurance policy and move to Panama.
The story has become front-page news. The Daily Mirror claimed Darwin and his wife Anne were seen together after his disappearance and printed a photograph it said shows the couple standing in a Panama City apartment they rented last year. “Canoe’s This in Panama?” the paper chortled in its headline.
So, this cat, John Darwin, did attempt to fake his death it appears. Unless you believe the “amnesia” bit. I don’t because, the photo of him in Panama, with his wife was taken before he turned himself in. So, he couldn’t have been too bad off if he found her.
Clearly Mr. Darwin needed help in this endeavor. I mean, you have to have a better story than amnesia. And, that’s a fall-back situation anyway. It should have never come to using the amnesia story.
Looking at the evidence, I have come to the conclusion that there is a definite need for a service company like Fake Your Own Death L.L.C. My search stats indicate that there is surely interest in this service; in abundance. And, Mr. Darwin’s case is a prime example of what happens if people try this on a D.I.Y. basis.
I could serve the company in an administrative/supervisory capacity, no problem. I am going to require some investment capital. If you are a entrepreneurial sort contact me on the down-low, as they say. I am looking forward to a prosperous relationship with my new partner or partners.
And, for those of you seeking to fly under the radar, be looking for the grand opening of Fake Your Own Death L.L.C. Don’t take things into your own hands and end up like Mr. Darwin. Go with a name you know. Trust your future life to Fake Your Own Death L.L.C.
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Jayne d'Arcy wrote,
Could I manage the web page for this company?
Link | December 6th, 2007 at 12:17 am
Pribek wrote,
Currently, I have retained the Mexican consulting firm of E. Morel and B. Javier to do a feasibility study for locating the home office at Pollo del Mar. The first step of many. So, needless to say, we are not quite ready to discuss web presence at this time. I will say that your work comes highly recommended and you can be assured that you will be on the short list.
Thank you for contacting Fake Your Own Death L.L.C. where we say; “If you’re not dead, you haven’t lived”.
Link | December 6th, 2007 at 12:34 am
John wrote,
Can I be your first customer?
Link | February 7th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Pribek wrote,
Well John, I appreciate your interest in being a client of FYOD L.L.C.
The fact is that there is no shortage of people who wish to, shall we say, find a new life.
Unfortunately, we don’t have the operation up and running; yet.
I have said this before and I can not stress this enough: What we need at FYOD is cash, venture capital and lots of it.
Be assured that the administration cost of this sort of service will not come cheap and one thing I am leery of is going into the false death business under-funded.
Chin up though, there is a true demand for this service and it’s only a matter of time until some wise, cash heavy investor(s) step up to the plate. And, until then, maybe things will get better?
Link | February 7th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Grasshopper wrote,
Excellent discussion you all:
I began 4 years ago writing in cyberspace, averaging 6 hours a day… and guess what? during that time I received a Business Degree, started our Mom2Pop businesses, Marmart, and started abusing the blog community. Yes I am an QWERTY-addict. “Hi Pat, [from the seated brethren]!!”
I realize today I could’ve done something more productive, than just become a QAA… as I run across the FYOD enterprise. Yes, I am slapping myself silly as we speak. I coulda cleaned up in dat bidness.
So of course I googled FYOD for Dummies: and got some good liners.
There are five total rules for FYOD. That’s fewer rules than for soccer, with its eight rules.
I ripped this one from: Faking your own death June 14, 2005 which ends with: “There’s no worse irony than accidentally ending up dead at your own funeral.” http://homepage.mac.com/joester5/writing/fakingyourdeath.html
In conclusion he tests the sand: (At what point does publicly misquoting your only active audience member, and one of a handful of people on the planet who honestly love you become self destructive? Let’s find out together!)
I coulda been rich! Let’s not let this one die.
Grasshopper’s last blog post..The Opposite is True
Link | February 7th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Tim wrote,
I know someone who did just that fake his own death worked very well just doent ask the cops for the police reports or death cert they seem to get really ugly when they know they had to brake the law just to keep someone alive
Link | August 20th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Pat Darnell and Friends wrote,
Tim, Hi friend. Tim, do you know Russell?
Link | August 21st, 2008 at 1:23 am