Is there anything more bogus than the “public apology statement”? The apology statement, has become a tedious cultural tradition. Last night, while driving, I heard Eliot Spitzer giving his.
“Today I want to briefly address a private matter. I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong. I apologize first and most importantly to my family. I apologize to the public, whom I promised better.
“I do not believe that politics in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas, the public good, and doing what is best for the state of New York.
But I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family.
“I will not be taking questions. Thank you very much. I will report back to you in short order. Thank you very much.”
If you’re like me, you have to apologize for stuff pretty often. Usually I am apologizing directly to whoever I have offended. Also, one of the unwritten rules of apologizing is, you have to mention what you are apologizing for. I apologize to you for, blah blah blah. Notice that Spitzer never says anything about hiring hookers in his above apology. That’s because it isn’t an apology. It’s a statement designed to hopefully start the “damage control” process. In doing damage control, which is a form of public relations, you don’t want to mention what you did wrong-that’s a negative.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have a team of attorneys and public relations people on hand for the next time you really screw up? Wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier to just do some damage control and move on, rather than putting yourself through the turmoil of giving a sincere apology? Sure, but that costs a lot of money-damage control. Who can afford a legal and P.R. staff?
Well now you don’t have to. Mr. Spitzer has inadvertently provided us with a useful, damage control tool. I give you the “Eliot Spitzer Apology Statement Template”.
“Today I want to briefly address a private matter. I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to ______ and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong. I apologize first and most importantly to _______. I apologize to _______, whom I promised better.
“I do not believe that ______ in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas, the public good, and doing what is best for _________.
But I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of ________.
“I will not be taking questions. Thank you very much. I will report back to you in short order. Thank you very much.”
Just fill in the blanks! You can use this for any type of screw up or indiscretion. And, you don’t have even mention what you did wrong! Remember we’re not apologizing, we’re doing damage control.
“Today I want to briefly address a private matter. I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to the readers of this blog and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong. I apologize first and most importantly to the readers. I apologize to the internet community, whom I promised better.
“I do not believe that blogging in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas, the public good, and doing what is best for humanity.
But I have disappointed and failed to live up to the standard I expected of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of the readers of this blog.
“I will not be taking questions. Thank you very much. I will report back to you in short order. Thank you very much.”
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Tags: attorneys, blah, damage control, eliot spitzer, hookers, public apology, public relations, whole lot
Pat wrote,
Apology for Wonder.
Keen, Sam. (1969).
New York: Harper & Row. retrieved from–
http://www.csp.org/index.html
http://www.csp.org/chrestomathy/apology_for.html
So, there you have it. Eliot you are a buffoon: One upmanship from the past… ghosts of the origins. Booom-chukka, before wammy bars.
pd_in_full
Pat’s last blog post..Whoa, hold on a New York Minit! Prosecutors Might want to persue a heftier pedophilia charge on resigned Gov!!
Link | March 13th, 2008 at 4:05 pm