Everyone’s A Critic

An interesting bit from the syndicated advice column Ask Amy.

Dear Amy: I recently started seeing a guy who is a part-time musician. We really connected. I’m totally swooning over him, and I’m not someone who regularly swoons.

The problem is that I’m not crazy about his music. It’s not bad; it’s just not very original.

I was a music major in college, and I’ve done freelance music reviews, so I’ve got a sort of built-in music snobbery that has very little to do with taste and more to do with being able to analyze song structure, harmonic structure and melody more than most people who haven’t studied music.

On the whole, his songs are pleasant, but it’s hard to silence that music-critic voice in my head that says: “OK, you’ve played those two chords enough now. How about trying something different?”

Of course I haven’t given him anything but positive feedback, and everything else is going so well.

Should I just silence my inner critic and not worry about it, or is this a red flag that it’s a bad match?

HEARING MEDIOCRE MUSIC

Before I give you Amy’s response, I’ll tell you how I would have handled this.

Dear HEARING MEDIOCRE MUSIC,
This is an erubescent, hyperemic, cherry red, blood red, scarlet, fire engine red flag. Grapefruit juice and toothpaste would be a better match. If you don’t have enough stones to be honest with your opinion you have no business entering in to a relationship.

It sounds like you think your boyfriend is a dolt.

On top of that you aren’t a real music critic. Everybody knows that real music critics live with their mothers. Nobody cares about your analysis of song structure, harmonic structure or melody. You don’t see kids lined up at the mall to buy Rock Critic Hero. If this guy is playing music in front of live people and those people are either listening or shaking their butts and buying beer while they are then, the last person he should listen to is you.

The fact that you are unable to realize this on your own and instead ask an advice columnist what to do demonstrates a peculiar lack of insight; perhaps you should pursue a career as a local TV news anchor.

Amy says: One joy of being in a relationship is that you can play your two chords over and over, and the person you’re with won’t analyze your song structure too harshly.

I want you to have a conference with your inner music critic — and tell her to put a sock in it.

Think of it this way — how would you like it if your squeeze showed up at your workplace and offered a critique of your methodology and practice?

If your guy solicits your opinion of his music, then offer it, but start by saying something positive.

And, that’s why Amy is a successful advice columnist and I am not.

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Tags: advice columnist, Amy, Rock Critic