Check out the first two sentences of this Breitbart/AP piece about a guy in Lincoln, Nebraska…
A driver who threw an axe at another motorist, wounding him, has been sentenced to 37 days in jail. The man, 51, was sentenced Friday in Lancaster County Court for third-degree assault and criminal mischief after pleading no contest to the charges.
Hunh? Criminal mischief? That sounds like some kids screwing around with water baloons or something. Third degree assault? Now, I’ve had a lawyer explain to me the ins and outs of the degrees of murder charges. If I remember right, a lot has to do with intent. Higher degree=higher intent. Is it different with assault? Dude threw an axe at another motorist!
Authorities said two vehicles were traveling near an intersection on June 13 and one cut in front of the other, prompting both vehicles to stop. The man threw a 3-foot axe through the other driver’s passenger window, striking him in the ribs with the blunt end.
OK, he hit the guy with the blunt end of the axe. They would probably be pursuing a more serious charge if he hit him with the business end of the axe.
Wait a minute! Dude threw an axe at another guy. A three foot axe! And, he’s got to be a pretty good axe thrower to even get it through the window, right? I’m pretty sure he meant to inflict some harm there.
Who drives around with a three foot axe sitting in the passenger seat?
Okay, so this yob is returning home after a long hot, beer stoked, dope roped day at the swap meet Native American Indian Show. He just came in second in the ax throwing competition, because his last try hit blunt end. Lucky for him that is imprinted in his yobbo brain, because he blunted the other driver. And he is only third degree perp.
Did the perp drive a convertible corn oil powered UTE, because a car window is not close to 36″ wide or tall… ? Even if it were thrown like a spear, it still is going to bang window trim.
I’m thinking the raging perp got out of his converted bacon oil powered UTE and swung the ax… at the victim’s car from passenger side. He must have swung at the door window not knowing it was down, and as the blade did not hit window, the corn oil and bacon grease soaked ax handle slipped out of his hands straight into the driver’s ribs.
My final answer. Pat. Pend.
Now, let’s go all CSI Nebraska on this.
I’m no axe-shaped projectile expert, but how exactly do you hit someone with the blunt end, unless you *intended* to do so? I can see accidentally striking handle-first, but don’t you have to throw the axe backwards (as in blunt end first) for it to spin and hit blunt end first?
Perhaps based on axe-listic evidence they determined that the perp wasn’t actually intending a mortal injury.
I do think Pat has a point, though. How do you throw a 3′ axe through a car window? This guy’s definitely a renegade circus act of some kind, possibly associated with David Blane in some manner???
Did they check the surrounding shrubbery for any signs of large perspex boxes, handcuffs etc?
Smacks of police negligence to me.
I love how the discussion evolved. I have never thought about this thing, how could you possibly hit the man with the blunt end. Kensky has one hell of a point! Jack, you seem to have a interest for strange facts, like that guy hiding a guitar in his pants or the other guy who crashed a guitar on the head of another one ;-)
“Blunt end” is not defined in the story. Does that mean the blunt part of the axe head or the actual handle itself? Either way, I think the guy was trying to inflict harm.
Actually, I’ve thrown a number of axes in my day. That’s how we used to spend break time on nice days at the forge; smoking and axe throwing. The trick to axe throwing is to judge the number of rotations that will occur before your target. If you get it wrong you may hit handle first (half turn off) or hit with the top of the head and thus, not sink the blade (off just a frog’s hair). You always hold the axe by the handle when throwing. Now, as for the window size issue; a properly thrown axe would put the axe head through the window and bury the blade in the opposing drivers melon or chest etc. The whole length of the axe does not need to fit through the window longways. The three foot length of the axe comes in to play in the number of rotations. Now, if this guy hit the driver with blunt end of the axe head, that means he barely missed the estimated rotation(s). If he hit him with the handle; bad throw.
CSI Nebraska *[guffaw]* — lmao –
Cathy: “The trick to axe throwing is to judge the number of rotations that will occur before your target. If you get it wrong you may hit handle first (half turn off) or hit with the top of the head and thus, not sink the blade (off just a frog’s hair).”
Grissom: “You always hold the axe by the handle when throwing. Now, as for the window size issue; a properly thrown axe would put the axe head through the window and bury the blade in the opposing drivers melon or chest etc. The whole length of the axe does not need to fit through the window longways.
Sara: “Perhaps based on axe-listic evidence they determined that the perp wasn’t actually intending a mortal injury.”
Warrick: “The blood on the axe handle turned out to be mustard, …and not just any mustard…. but Mr Mustard’s mustard from Mustard’s Last Stand in Evanston” *[Dumdididummmm]* music
Visiting Romanian CSI in Nebraska: “..strange facts, like that guy hiding a guitar in his pants or the other guy who crashed a guitar on the head of another one ;-)..”
Brass: “Hmmmm… a Fender is sometimes called an Axe…”
I LOVE CSI and I definitely love Pat’s spin on this particular axe.
I’ve never thrown an axe, but I have thrown knives and scissors. A three foot axe through a driver’s window? Were they both still driving down the highway? If so, that adds another problem into this CSI equation. I don’t think they were both driving. I think they stopped and the axe wielder threw his axe through the other’s window.
Uhm… any chance this guy was a lumberjack? That would be a good reason for having an axe.
Nick: “Hmmm… could a lumberjack be a yob? Excellent question there Agent d’Arcy.”
Cath, Griss, Sara in unison: “Hmmm, yes, good point.”
[Jayne d'Arcy visiting from CSI Lumberjackville, where the motto is "Save a Lumberjack, Eat a Beaver."]
A lumberjack in Nebraska would almost have to be a yob
Well, Patrick & Friends invited me to check out pribek.net, & I must say, I picked a good time to do so…this post not only offers detailed, specific information (on axe-throwing) for the person eager to learn, but witty repartee’ as well (the CSI stuff). (Is repartee’ a word? DId I spell it right?) And being a CSI fan myself, well, lovin’ the take on it…
Christina´s last blog ..Treading on our Heritage
I believe the spelling you are looking for is Repor’teer … usually masculine case in occurrence of Yob’s… so glad you made it by Miss GarnetGirl, aka Christina. Feminine would of course be Reportess.
Axe Wielder, now there’s a term I didn’t notice first time around… hmmm. Oh, and do frog’s really have hair? Is that comparable to a gnat’s eyelash?
Pat Darnell and friends´s last blog ..Sanction, Bomb, Marry
Thanks, Patrick…I think I finally understand what’s been going on with me for months now, & I finally feel like I can come up for air…I kept remembering that I’d promised to stop by here, & thought, yeah, maybe it’s time.
And – Repor’teer? Huh?
Christina´s last blog ..Treading on our Heritage
Thanks Christina!
Axe throwing is great for relieving stress; highly recommended.
Ummm…I’ll pass…although I have thrown things, at walls, somehow even in my intense frustration I make sure it isn;t anything breakable or dangerous! Like, I throw phone books….
Christina´s last blog ..Treading on our Heritage