Friday Night Cage Match/Fondue Party/Evolving Conversation/Dancing About Architecture Vol. 146
After an enormously unsuccessful meeting in Elko with a group of Japanese “investors”, who flew in primarily for the brothels and gambling but weren’t above the cocktails, you were forced to take a detour and got lost. Upon finally finding a paved road and feeling a great sense of relief you put the pedal of your vintage Ford LTD to the metal, promptly threw a rod and coasted her to a halt in front of this ominous road sign…
Yep, you are on the infamous US Route 6 smack dab in the middle of the Nevada desert.
Then…things take a turn for the worse. When exiting the vehicle and being startled by a low-flying buzzard you drop to the pavement, smashing your i-Phone that is attached to your belt and twist your ankle so bad that it swells to the size of a cantaloupe in a matter of seconds rendering foot travel impossible.
With no food or water and even with dusk approaching the temperature hovering around 106, things look bleak. For, on this stretch of road it is not uncommon to go for days at a time without seeing another traveler.
Then, miraculously you hear the telltale rumble and not one but two vehicles come roaring up and both stop to offer aid!
The first car is a Dodge Viper and lo and behold, the driver is none other than bleary-eyed pop music legend Billy Joel! Who is accompanied by his trusty sidekick a huge bull mastiff that suffers from chronic halitosis.
Joel, who is taking the scenic route to play a private Bar Mitzvah up around Reno somewhere says; “You’re welcome to ride along to the next town. Air conditioner is busted though…good thing I got a gallon of Beefeater’s on ice to wash these Oxycontin down with, eh? You’ll have to crawl in the back though, Beelzebub here likes to ride shotgun.”
Right behind is a Ford 15 passenger van driven by Westboro Baptist Church Pastor, Fred Phelps, along with his whole family and entire congregation.
Fred says; “We’re just on our way over to Tonapah for a big combination funeral and flag burnin’! Be glad to give you a lift friend. It’s kind of cozy what with all the signs but, if you like music we’re working on a batch of new popular song parodies!”
Which ride do you take?
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6 Responses to “Friday Night Cage Match/Fondue Party/Evolving Conversation/Dancing About Architecture Vol. 146”
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Pribek At Zazzle
The post to blame: Most Peculiar Mama (Don't Eat Your Cat)
Billy Joel & slobbering hound….!!!!
slobbering hound and…
http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-207_162-613694.html
Still trying to decide … he again has the halitosis?
it can happen to those who least expect it but, there can be a lucrative happy ending…
http://youtu.be/zUWImZnpojc
The Third Option:
A micro bus with five ‘Hookers for Christ’ arrives on the scene… as I am contemplating how I might do an in-car engine over-haul on my LTD with the only tool I have which is a can opener… and they have a book with them.
There is also a driver at the wheel of the micro bus who looks like Keith Richards, only older. The five girls … at least I think they are all girls … pile out on to the highway and begin leaning, strutting, petting Beelzebub, and talking a mile a minute. One of the quieter ones approaches me, and I notice a regular bulge in her groin area…
It’s then I remember the small token of appreciation that the Japanese clients gave me … a miniature Geiger counter that starts to beep. I reach in my pocket and fetch it.
Billy Joel becomes interested in two of the girls and suggests they ride with him since they are all going to the same place.
The Westboro pastor immediately ‘converts’ two of the Hookers for Christ who agree to ride with him and his followers on their ubiquitous journey.
The remaining attractive but controversial Hooker for Christ tells me there is plenty of room for me now, and I should ride with her… to the next town.
The driver of the micro bus turns to me and says…. ” …
Is that a real miniature Geiger counter in your pocket or, is that a Sears miniature Geiger counter?