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I was asked my opinion of this mess between Howard Stern and Dolly Parton. Howard, of course, took excerpts from Dolly’s audio book and edited them together in a disgraceful manner for a cheap laugh.

What will come of this, Jack?

On one hand you have Dolly…

…who wrote “Coat Of Many Colors” and buys reading books for under privileged children.

And on the other hand, you have Howard…

…who makes a huge amount of money in a parasitic fashion.

Now, at the heart of the country music world, there is a fierce and very protective group of pit bull lawyers that all play golf together. When Dolly, who is very shrewd, mentions the possibility of a lawsuit, these guys are instantly licking their collective chops and texting. These guys are going to relish the idea of hitting Howard where it hurts.

Howard Stern is one of those guys that likes to use Free Speech like it’s a loophole. He screwed up this time.

Howard Stern is your Friday morning mindless yob.

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Listen up guitar slingers. You aren’t going to be the next big thing just by practicing and getting your sound together. You want a real, practical guitar lesson? One that applies to Music 2.0, the new business model, music as a loss leader, the real deal? Head on over to Carlos Santana’s merch page.

Carlos has this branding thing down.

Carlos is the branding guitar God. Yeah he’s got the obvious stuff like Carlos Santana Strings…

and guitars…

…and even conga’s. But, check out Carlos the sparkling wine.

And, the shoes…I know you heard about the women’s shoes.

CARLOS BY CARLOS SANTANA
Women’s Rebel
Blue
$98.95

Of course, there is the Carlos, designer hotel suite…

And now, Carlos has a restaurant.

Now he’s moved into restaurants, joining Dudum Sports and Entertainment - owners of Bing Crosby’s Restaurant and Piano Lounge in Walnut Creek and Joe DiMaggio’s Italian Chophouse in San Francisco - in a licensing partnership to open Maria Maria, a nouveau-Mexican restaurant in Walnut Creek. The group, which has taken over the old Cantina chain, also plans to open Maria Maria restaurants in Mill Valley and Santa Rosa early next year.

Santana’s creative touch is evident at Maria Maria (the name of his group’s 2000 hit) and not only in the background music: He consulted on the decor and the menu, and even chose the servers’ flowery guayabera shirts.

The review was, shall we say, “mixed”…

As for the food, Maria Maria scores points for creativity. But execution was lacking in many dishes, with seafood that had seen better days and flavors that got lost in too much seasoning.

…but, if you are a guitar legend, mixed reviews are part of the territory. The important things are “Name Recognition” and “Brand Awareness”.

So kids, it’s OK to practice but, don’t spend too much time on it. You are just spinning your wheels if you don’t devote the proper effort to developing your BRAND.

Now, I gots to get out of here, I simply have to spend a couple of hours on some sketches of a new, strapless cocktail dress.

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Pete Doherty…

…has decided to stop using drugs.

Pete Doherty has apparently vowed to give up drugs after almost killing one of his beloved kittens.

He says: “I got a shovel and was going to kill one of the cats. That was when I was, like, you know, ‘I’m a bit of a mess’. It was a bit of a crazy time.”

Good for you, Pete. Sounds like you finally have this under control.

Maybe, you should talk to this guy.

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