Pribek

From Reuters.

An Italian couple who were caught having sex in a church confessional box while morning Mass was being said have repented and made peace with the local bishop.

Repent sinners! But, get your nut first. That’s the lesson there, right?
What were they doing in the confessional box? Surely, there’s someplace else to bump uglies that makes more logical sense than a confessional box during morning Mass. What were these two thinking?

The couple, in their early 30s, were detained by police earlier this month after they had made love in the confessional box in the cathedral in northern Cesena. They were cautioned for obscene acts in public and disturbing a religious function.

Their lawyer said they had been drinking all night and realized they had gone too far.

Well, that explains it, they were drinking. I’m sure that there is no one among us that hasn’t had a few too many, got a little lippy, pissed as a potter, a little Chinese eyed from time to time and thought; “You know, this would be a good time to make the beast with two backs in the confessional while Mass is going on. Wouldn’t that be a scream?” Who hasn’t done that?

But, it often turns into a logistical problem. First, you have to have a willing partner who is at roughly the same level of drunkenness. That’s tricky, especially on an all night binge. Usually, one drinker gets way ahead of the other. You have be close to a Catholic Church and both be wearing outfits that will allow you to get funky in the close confines of the confessional box. That’s like having all the planets in alignment. Pretty rare. So, who can blame these yobs for realizing that the opportunity was their’s for the taking?

The lawyer told the area’s local newspaper on Wednesday the couple met with the local bishop on Tuesday night, asked for his forgiveness and that he had given it.

Last week the bishop celebrated a “Mass of reparation” in the cathedral where the confessional box incident took place to make up for the sacrilege.

All is well that ends well, I guess. I’ll tell you this much, it’s going to be a tough one to top for this couple. Having a “Mass of reparation” in your honor to make up for your “sacrilege”, that’s way above and beyond having the stewardess knocking on the bathroom door because a line has formed and then having to exit together with everyone looking at you, casting knowing glances, salacious grins, some scowling in disgust. No, this couple can’t settle for something that easy anymore.

An audience with the Pope, perhaps?