Here are a few things that have occupied some space in my brain over the last few days while driving seemingly endlessly, back and forth to the studio, rehearsal, super-secret location of the Winnebago etc.
As you know, I rarely listen to music while I’m driving. A few months ago, after a playing seven sets at a Parrothead party, veteran drummer/singer and all around good guy, Gary Hodges posed this query; “Jack, do you ever just get tired of music?”. Yes, Gary I do. I use my driving time to do deep breathing exercises and repetition of mantras. When I tire of those activities, I will light up a Pall Mall and try to surmise what is going on in the world. There are two talk radio choices in the local arena. One is a FoxNews affiliate and one is an ESPN. I frantically toggle between the two and, next thing you know, I’ve reached my destination, generally without hearing anything of worth.
Now that I’ve set the scene, here are the things on my mind.
pundit Pronunciation[puhn-dit]
noun
1. a learned person, expert, or authority.
2. a person who makes comments or judgments, esp. in an authoritative manner; critic or commentator.
To all the highly paid broadcasters at Fox and ESPN; it is PUNDIT (puhn-dit). It is not pronounced PUNDINT. I have heard pundiNt so many times that I thought I was saying it wrong. Pundint, idiots. I had to look it up to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind.
By the way, for future use; pundititic is a wonderful sounding adjective and punditically is an even more glorious adverb.
The next topic of my wrath is celebrity doctors. Dr. Phil, Dr. Drew, Dr. Laura-they’re all weasels. Doctors, are supposed to help people. I’m pretty sure that the Hippocratic oath has nothing in there that says you should exploit your patient’s genuine problems and parlay that into fame, fortune, power and a better table at whatever bistro you choose to ingest your favorite progressive, southwestern, fusion sushi.
Doctors should be like bass players. They should be rock solid, always there when you need them and dedicating their lives to make you better. Lou Whitney says: “If you walk off stage and a pretty girl comes up to you and says, ‘You are a fantastic bass player.’ then, you are doing it wrong”. If you are a “celebrity doctor”, you are doing it wrong.
All the celebrity doctors should be rounded up, individually collared and manacled, chained together, put into a large wooden crate and shipped by FedEx to Caracas and permanently handed over to this guy…
…for use in social experiments, guest slots on Hugo’s variety show, and to treat the real, worthy celebrities, Sean Penn, Oliver Stone, Kevin Spacey etc., etc., etc., when they are in town.
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