Pribek

Just kicking back, doing a little music biz math tonight.

Let’s break this down.

The first week out the new Guns und Roses album “Chinese Democracy” sold 260,000 and change.

The second week, the new Guns N’ Roses album, “Chinese Democracy” sold roughly 80,000 copies.

Before all of this, Best Buy, in exchange for exclusive retail rights, bought 1.5 Million copies of “Chinese Democracy”, up front, at the wholesale price of $9.00 a pop.

The Man…is not going to keep Axl down.

Axl Rose, You Rock!

The Guns und Roses record, “Chinese Democracy” is out. Now, we all heard about the “free Dr. Pepper” hype/jive. Let me ask you this; did anybody think that when Dr. Pepper said everyone gets a free one if the record comes out this year…did anybody think that you were just going to be able to walk in to the quick shop and say, “I’m here, Axl put the disc out, give me my free Dr. Pepper”.

No. Nobody thought it was going to work that way. It’s just another scam, no big deal. Dr. Pepper, which I’m sure is part of some huge conglomerate, was going to use this as a way to build a database that the actual worth of is negligible because, how much useful information can you get from an internet profile? That stuff is overrated anyway but, we’re talking about soda pop here and Dr. Pepper should have a good handle on their demographics as it is but, maybe they want to sell your info to some other batch of jackals, who knows?

So, they made it a hassle to get the freebie and the website crashed because so many people hit it when the specified one day arrived. Who didn’t see that one coming?

That’s rock and roll right? You roll with it and move on because it has nothing to do with being a rock star, right?

No!

Rock and Roll is having a badass lawyer who attacks the giant food and beverage conglomerate immediately while garnering even more publicity while getting you (the rock star) more spending cabbage.

Guns N’ Roses’ lawyer is Beverly Hills-based Alan Gutman and the following quotes come from Billboard.

Mr. Gutman, how would you describe Dr. Pepper’s marketing campaign?

“unmitigated disaster which defrauded customers.”…

“exploitation of my clients’ legendary reputation and their eagerly awaited album”…

“brazenly violated our clients’ rights.”…

“complete fiasco.”…

“The entire point of your campaign has been to use public interest in Axl Rose and Guns N’ Roses as a lure to increase consumer awareness of Dr Pepper.”…

“raw and damaging commercial exploitation of our clients’ rights,”….

“even more damaging in light of your shoddy execution of your disingenuous giveaway offer.”

Gutman is demanding that Dr. Pepper extend the offer period, print full page apologies in the major fish wraps and send along some money.

Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! That’s rock and roll children.

More Guns N’ Roses stuff. Yeah, I know everywhere you look the big hype, the big push, the big sell is on. And, I’m just piling on, front running but, I couldn’t resist these bits from TimesOnline.

Just why did it take Axl Rose 14 years to deliver “Chinese Democracy”?

Deeply affected by the death of his mother, Sharon, from cancer, in 1996, and his collaborator West Arkeen, from a drug overdose, Rose also became a recluse, refusing to leave his Malibu mansion. He kept tanks of exotic spiders and reptiles for company, adopting bizarre disguises whenever he went out.

Well, anybody could understand a guy wanting to get away for a while, spend some time with the lizards and spiders after a series of traumatic events. That’s not crazy, just makes good sense.

All employees were required to sign confidentiality agreements containing stiff penalties if breached. They also had to submit a photograph of themselves which Rose would then offer to a personal guru, nicknamed Yoda by his road crew, for “psychic inspection” to reveal their true motives, strengths and weaknesses. Even photographs of an employee’s children were requested on occasion.

Photos for “psychic inspection” by a guru? Yeah, that’s a bit nuts.

When another new recruit, the bizarre guitarist Buckethead — so-named because he wore a Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head and hid behind a Friday the 13th mask — requested a chicken coop be built in the studio, stocked with live chickens, Rose accommodated him — until the singer’s pet wolf cubs got in there one night and feasted on them. Buckethead left soon afterwards.

Now Buckethead….

…..he’s a great guitar player, a fine musician, a top notch entertainer, a crowd pleaser, a show stopper but…he’s off his rocker. He wears a KFC bucket on his head. That’s a dead give away. The thing is, if you are the guy in charge, the ramrod, the band leader and you got a whacked out guitarist that wants to keep live chickens in the studio, for whatever reason then, it’s your responsibility to do the right thing and keep your wolf cubs away from the chickens. I mean, everybody knows that, right?

The record company authorised a further $1 million “incentive” payment to Rose, with the promise of another $1 million if he delivered a finished album by March 1999. The date came and went.

1999!!?? Woah! That’s when there was still a record business.

Err..yeah…the question was; “Just why did it take Axl Rose 14 years to deliver “Chinese Democracy”?”

Because, Axl Rose is nuts, bonkers, out to lunch, unbalanced, unhinged, silly, screwy, barmy, batty, berserk, half-baked, that’s why.

Guns N’ Roses’ manager Andy Gould said recently: “When they asked Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel, they didn’t say, ‘Can you do it in the fourth quarter?’ Great art sometimes takes time.”

And, so too are the people around him.