Pribek

Now we have KFC teaming up with the popular Guitar Hero gaming franchise. This is from a press release.

In conjunction with the October unveiling of Activision’s Guitar Hero(R) World Tour, fans nationwide will be able to register online beginning Oct. 26 for a chance to win* the ultimate gaming room, including
a plasma TV, sound system, furniture, refreshment center, gaming consoles and up to 25 games.

Consumers who purchase a 32-ounce beverage at KFC will receive a limited edition Guitar Hero collector’s cup and a chance to win great prizes. Additionally, KFC is working with Activision on a special promotion for KFC customers that will allow players to access secret cheat codes to unlock special features within Guitar Hero World Tour. KFC also will be featured in Guitar Hero World Tour with innovative branded cameos.

KFC and Guitar Hero!!?? Hunh? That doesn’t make any damn sense.

Not so fast, jaded yet obtuse consumer.

And, these marketing cats have the ability to tie capital and revenue streams together faster than Yngwie can sweep through melodic minor arpeggios.

“KFC and Guitar Hero(R) share a fan base that celebrates good music and great food,” said Javier Benito, executive vice president of marketing and food innovation for KFC. “We’re confident chicken lovers and gaming enthusiasts will come together to enjoy our breakthrough in-game integration and amazing giveaways.”

“Guitar Hero and KFC are two iconic brands and the chance to join forces for the launch of our new game made great business sense,” said Dusty Welch, SVP, head of publishing at Activision/RedOctane. “KFC and video game fans alike will win via this innovative partnership.”

Don’t worry, pretty soon all of this stuff will start making sense. You just have to go along to git along, take what they feed you, thank you sir, may I have another? Pretty soon, you won’t be able to pick up your Japanese Strat with Floyd Rose, locking nut and EMG 85s without salivating for some delicious fried chicken.

Just give in to it, it will be easier that way.

And, just what would old Colonel Sanders think about all of this? He knew…He knew…

cartoon by Doug Savage, savagechickens.com

Colonel Sanders’ original recipe of 11 herbs and spices is top secret stuff. This is from Fox.

Col. Harland Sanders’ handwritten recipe of 11 herbs and spices was removed Tuesday from safekeeping at KFC’s corporate offices for the first time in decades. The temporary relocation is allowing KFC to revamp security around a yellowing sheet of paper that contains one of the country’s most famous corporate secrets….
…KFC executives said they decided to upgrade security after retrieving the recipe amid preparations to add a new line of Original Recipe chicken strips.

Revamping security; good idea KFC. Never can be too safe, eh? What’s the current system?

So important is the 68-year-old concoction that coats the chain’s Original Recipe chicken that only two company executives at any time have access to it. The company refuses to release their names or titles, and it uses multiple suppliers who produce and blend the ingredients but know only a part of the entire contents.

Wow! Pretty good so far, that’s some real Spy vs, Spy stuff there.

The recipe has been stashed at the company headquarters for decades, and for more than 20 years has been tucked away in a filing cabinet equipped with two combination locks. To reach the cabinet, the keepers of the recipe would first open up a vault and unlock three locks on a door that stood in front of the cabinet.

In a vault, then three more locked doors, then in a double locked filing cabinet. And, only two super-secret, high level, KFC officials have access to the vault, three locked doors and double-locked filing cabinet. For a recipe. Actually, it’s not even a recipe. It’s just some stuff you mix in with the flour. It’s part of a recipe.

Why do they need to upgrade; revamp? One time when I was in Washington D.C, I saw The Declaration of Independence. It was in a glass case and there was a guy there saying, “move along now”, I mean, I’m sure that if somebody would have busted out a ball peen hammer and broke the glass guys would have been coming out of the woodwork but, it’s The Declaration of Independence!! This is a damn spice mixture!

Let’s see…
Salt
Pepper
Sage
Rosemary
Paprika
Garlic
That’s more than half of it right there, I’ll bet. Maybe, some chives, parsley-how tough could it be?

KFC is a bunch of wankers, they don’t even have the nuts to say fried anymore. Stuff doesn’t taste anything like it did 20 years ago, do you think it even resembles what the Colonel was frying in 1940?

Corporate tools. The Colonel now, that guy had it going on.

From Breitbart/AP…

Animals rights advocates are squawking at a measure that would make fried chicken Kentucky’s official picnic food.

State Rep. Charles Siler is sponsoring legislation to assign the designation to KFC’s “finger lickin’ good” chicken, first served by Colonel Harland Sanders in 1940.

The late colonel’s fried chicken deserves the title because of the worldwide attention and economic benefit it has brought to the state, Siler said. KFC, a subsidiary of Louisville-based Yum Brands Inc., has 11,000 restaurants in more than 80 countries.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals bristles at the idea. The animal rights group claims that the chickens KFC serves are abused, even tortured.

“If the state legislature moves forward with this one, then they should change Kentucky’s state bird from the cardinal to the debeaked, crippled, scalded, diseased, dead chicken,” said Bruce Friedrich, PETA vice president.

I think that PETA isn’t really honked off at the state of Kentucky. I think that’s a side issue. Let’s get real here, PETA is really taking a stand against KFC (restaurant chain formerly known as Kentucky Fried Chicken). And, when you are against KFC, then you are against Colonel Harlan Sanders.

The battle is on. No holds barred, cage match, loser leaves town.

Who do you like in this one?

Off the bat, I got to admit that I like the chicken. That being said, I do have a few issues with KFC. For starters, I don’t like the name change. I want FRIED chicken. These corporate attempts to be politically correct and hide their identity are tiresome. The chicken was better when the Colonel was alive, I’ll tell you that.

On the other hand we have PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The core problem with PETA is this; they want us all to abide by their particular definition of “ethical”. In that respect, they are no different from Evangelical Christians, radical Muslim extremists or, an increasing number of Atheists. In that one respect; they want us to abide by their interpretation of something. Although, I did have a good time watching PETA making Michael Vick’s life miserable a few months ago. So, they moved up a notch in my book.

So how do we decide a winner here? Well, I could go around and research PETA’s official stance on this; charges, evidence etc. And, I’m sure that KFC has an equal amount of material that I could locate that say’s that they treat their debeaked, crippled, scalded, diseased, dead chickens with the utmost attention to ethics.

No, we’re not going to spend the time on research today. I got to get ready for a gig (Harlow’s-Springfield, MO-9:00).

Besides, I have a better idea. We are going to solve this dispute the only way that makes sense. We are going to pick a winner based solely on cute pictures, that I found with very minimal research, that are readily available on the internet.

First we have Colonel Sanders.

Well, the old Colonel sets the bar pretty high doesn’t he? Why, he’s lovable even, yes, delightful. An American icon who built his fortune starting from nothing.

Now we have the upstart opponent-in this corner…PETA

Well, I must say that they make a pretty good case. If these ladies were standing outside my local KFC, I would probably head straight over to the health food store and get some organically grown vegetables instead. By doing so, I would avoid be further irked by the fact that KFC got my order wrong again.

So, whose side are you on here The lovable Colonel Sanders or the comely women of PETA.

Let me know your decision America-Vote with your comments.

Vote early and often.