Pribek

Speculation is running rampant at American Idol. From Billboard…

Paula Abdul, whose often quirky behavior has been a hot topic for years, told ABC News program “Nightline” that her contract ends after this season. And acid-tongued Simon Cowell, whom critics call the show’s real star, gave several interviews in which he contemplated an exit when his deal ends next year.

“You take out one person like Paula or Simon, (and) you’re affecting every other player in this grid,” said Time magazine television critic James Poniewozik. “They’re a family, a dysfunctional family, and it’s tough to mess with that.”

Well, here’s what I think; we can keep this dysfuctional family alive by finding the proper replacements.

My nominations are…

The new Paula Abdul

and…

The new Simon Cowell

Alright, last week some time I heard about this Burger King cologne called Flame.

The WHOPPER® sandwich is America’s Favorite burger. FLAME™ by BK® captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame-broiled meat.

And, I thought about blogging about it because it may be mildly funny and serve as blog filler. Then, I thought, you know it’s not funny it’s just dumb. Some guy has probably come up with this idea and somehow got Burger King on it and no doubt some people will buy it because they think it’s funny. Or, everybody has that big office Christmas party and you never can get too many cheesy gag gifts. Give it to the guy who already stinks as a real knee slapper, that kind of thing, I don’t know. Nobody is really going to buy it because they want to walk around smelling like a Whopper. Nobody wants to do that, it’s just dumb. I’m not going to use my time, my space to give Burger King and some fringe element, thinks they are clever, marketing yob free publicity. But, now I did anyway so, if you are the kind of putz that would buy meat cologne click here.

So anyway, I was surfing around this morning and I saw an item about how our friends PETA, have now responded to the meat cologne idea/campaign with one of their own. By the way, I found this at ecorazzi.com where they boast “The Latest In Green Gossip”. Hunh, green gossip, who knew?

Back on track. So, PETA is reacting to this stupid idea. Like the BK meat cologne is going to be so successful, so well received, garner so much positive press for Burger King, fast food and meat eating in general that, something needed to be done about it immediately. So, PETA came up with their own cologne; “Gore”.

Well, PETA likes this idea but thinks it doesn’t go far enough. Why start at the grill? That’s why we are launching our own fragrance called “GORE,” with the tagline “Eau de Mort!’ Take just one whiff, and you’ll be reminded of who they’re cooking over there in fast-foodville (or wearing, in this case). What exactly does it smell like? Meat, naturally! And, for authenticity, our scent even includes a maggot in each bottle, just to make the experience realistic.

So, how do you feel about GORE? It’d make a lovely holiday gift for any suspected necrophiliac.

“Lovely holiday gift for any suspected necrophiliac”!!?? Hunh!!??

Nice work PETA. You have successfully responded to this stupid, un-funny idea that would have otherwise just faded away with nobody remembering. Now, you have given BK and meat eating more run. Not to mention that your cologne, complete with maggots, shares the name of our favorite concert promoter/author/slide show presenter/Nobel prize winning/Oscar winning/big ass carbon footprint having celebrity. I’m sure he thinks that’s a real hoot.