People talk about movies a lot. When they do, I usually haven’t seen the movie. If it’s a current movie or even relatively recent one, forget about it; I haven’t seen it.
Usually one of two things happens.
1. Somebody is talking about some movie that is a huge part of the pop culture lexicon, one that they assume is a given; everybody has seen it. When I tell them I haven’t seen it, they give a look that I can’t really interpret. Disbelief? What an asshole this guy is? Are you yanking my chain? Seems to be somewhere along those lines.
2. If it’s a more recent film, even one that’s recently come out on DVD, something like that, they proceed to give me an involved interpretive synopsis, complete with hand gestures and I’m standing there with a look on my face that’s hard for them to interpret. Smiling, attempting interest, secretly thinking why the hell would anybody want to see that?
It really takes the air out of the conversation.
It’s not that I don’t like movies. There is no theater close by so, it’s a major commitment on top of the cash to go see one. No TV in the Winnebago and no DVD on the PC so, I don’t catch them that way. And, I’m more inclined to watch a documentary these days if I’m going to seek a movie out.
So, just to give you an idea who you are dealing with. Here is a very partial list of movies that I’ve never seen and can not engage in a conversation about.
Any of the Star Wars films
Titanic
ET
Any of the Lord Of The Rings films
Any of The Matrix films
Any Jurassic Park film
The Da Vinci Code
Born On The Fourth Of July
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
The Exorcist
Gone with the Wind
Saving Private Ryan
Any Spider Man film
Independence Day
Grease
Saturday Night Fever
Any Men in Black film
Any X-Men film
Any of the Batman films
Ghost
Any Mission Impossible film
Any of the Rush Hour films
Love Story
Brokeback Mountain
Yeah I know, it looks pretty bad. And believe me, it’s actually a lot worse. These are just ones that I recall people trying to reference in recent conversations that turned ugly.


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