Every action is a calculated risk, they say. From Reuters…
A Taiwanese man became a sitting target for a snake, which bit his penis as sat on the toilet at his rural home, local media reported on Monday.
“As soon as he sat down, he suddenly felt a knife-like pain and reacted instinctively by standing up,” the China Times said. “When he looked down, he saw the big snake.”
That’s got to be pretty high on the list of things you never want to experience; being snake bit on the penis.
“As soon as he has passed the risk of infection, he can go,” the director, who declined to be named, said. “A snake’s mouth isn’t always clean.”
A snake’s mouth isn’t always clean!
Hunh!!??
“What Happened to you Bob?”
‘A snake bit my penis.”
“Oooh…bad luck there, I hope it’s mouth was clean.”
Local television images showed the black and yellow reptile, reportedly a species of rat snake, being uncoiled and plucked slowly from the toilet bowl.
Sleep tight guys and don’t worry. Even though there is the occasional rat snake schwanz attack, nobody has ever really woke up in a Vegas, hotel bath tub without a kidney after spending the night with a hooker…have they?
Apparently……in Husavik, Iceland there is a Phallological Museum; a museum of the penis.
Open from May to September, it is housed in a plain brown building, the entrance marked by a tall brown phallus near the door and a penis-shaped sign over the front porch.
No doubt closed during to winter months due to shrinkage.
The joint, was the brainchild of Sigurdur Hjartarson.
His collection, which began in 1974 with a single bull’s penis that looked something like a riding crop, now boasts 261 preserved members from 90 species.
He said he began collecting penises 24 years ago, when working as a school administrator, with little notion he would one day be running a museum devoted to the subject.
“It was just a hobby,” he said, adding that the collection was relegated to his office until the inception of the museum.
“They were not on display in the sitting room.”
Yes…of course…a school administrator whose hobby is collecting penises. Probably wouldn’t fly here in fly over country but, Icelanders probably have a different feel for these kinds of things.
If you must know…
The largest, from a sperm whale, is 70 kg (154 lb) and 1.7 meters (5.58 ft) long. The smallest, a hamster penis bone, is just 2 mm and must be viewed through a magnifying glass.
Did you hear about the sperm whale that was having back pain?
The doctor told him; “You’ll be OK, just don’t lift anything that weighs more than 150 pounds”.
“How am I going to take a leak, Doc?”
Hjartarson says that number of visitors grows every year and 60 percent are women.
And, oh yeah…this.
One species conspicuous by its absence is homo sapiens, but that may soon be rectified since a German, an American, an Icelander and a Briton have promised to donate their organs after death, according to certificates on display.
The American, 52-year-old Stan Underwood, supplied a written description of his penis — which he purportedly nick-named “Elmo” — for display alongside a life-size plastic mould of the member as well as his pledge to donate it.
Nice going there Stan…and “Elmo”.
Have at it folks.
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