One of the things that irks me is the way people throw the word “icon” around. So and so’s an icon. I has bothered me enough that I started using it a lot. Much to my chagrin, whenever I say something like; “Oh yeah, he/she is an icon“, the sarcasm is generally lost (somehow!!??) and people eat it up like it’s actual conversation.
What is even worse is the phrase; “has reached icon status”. One minute-not icon, next minute-icon. Who decides when somebody has “reached icon status”? Well, I did some research (a lot of research, believe me) and, it turns out the answer is nobody. There is no organization or governing body that determines “icon status”. So, when you see the words, “has officially reached icon status”, it really doesn’t mean anything because, there is nothing official about it.
Until now, that is.
Yes folks, this whole business of iconship has reached the point that somebody has to do something about it. Therefore, at great personal expense, I have established The Icon Status Think Tank And Review Board. It is now the official duty of the ISTTRB to determine if and when someone has reached icon status. This will undoubtedly prove to be of incalculable benefit to mankind.
The ISTTRB held an emergency meeting in the wee hours of this morning because this query was put forth.
Is this man…
an icon?
The initial reaction of many ISTTRB members was that Lemmy, might actually be too genuine an article to be considered an icon. If Lemmy is an icon then, that puts him in the company of many well-established icons that are on the far lame side of the dial. Lemmy is 61 years old and plays heavy metal. Lemmy, got kicked out of a psychedelic rock band (Hawkwind) for taking too many drugs. Lemmy, wrote “Ace Of Spades”. He does that thing where the microphone is over his head. The term “headbangers” was coined to describe Motorhead fans. Lemmy, has been getting blasted, inciting riots, screwing groupies and touring constantly since the 70’s. Do you really want to put him next to say, Bill Gates or an “icon” like Donald Trump.
But, there has been some mounting evidence. Motorhead won a Grammy. This, by itself, is not enough to garner icon status. There are plenty of Grammy winners that aren’t icons.
But then, this came across the wires.
“We’re very excited to be able to introduce the Locoape brand to the public with an iconic license such as Motorhead. Lemmy is an artist that defines modern hard rock and metal music.” said Locoape CCO, Michael Romano.” Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister is the first in Locoape’s ongoing Icon Figure Series.
I’m sure you now understand the reason for the emergency midnight meeting of the The Icon Status Think Tank And Review Board. Obviously many ISTTRB members were troubled by the fact that this is a transparent marketing ploy on the part of Locoape, using “Icon” as their brand name for action figures. Some viewed it as an attempt to usurp ISTTRB authority.
To Locoape’s credit though, they did choose to use Lemmy. I mean, if they would have went with Beck or Jeff Tweedy…..
Anyway after hours of heated debate, the ISTTRB came to a consensus. The Grammy, high profile, celebrity packed birthday parties; these were things that were already on the table but, the action figure was the thing that tipped the balance.
So, without further ado,
By Official Proclamation of The Icon Status Think Tank And Review Board…
Lemmy is an ICON
Now that the ISTTRB has this first one under it’s belt, they pledge to move ever forward. With a fully operational, high functioning staff of Google and Wiki savvy peons constantly scouring the 24 hour news hole for editorial uses of the word “icon”, rest assured no stone will go unturned.
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